*looks at you seductively* *lowers glasses* i can’t see a thing

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  • On the internet: Ugh I hate people so much
  • Applying for a job: I love working with people and I'm very sociable
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The guy in front of me when I was getting ice cream tonight was wearing this.

update: i banged him

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this entire episode is a treasure.

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Finally, some good advice from Cosmo

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  • me: should i make a sarcastic comment or not
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"You were red. You liked me cause I was blue. You touched me and suddenly I was a lilac sky and you decided purple just wasn’t for you."
D A N G (via stumblingintolove)
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